Final Destination 5

Final Destination 5 PosterRating: ★½☆☆☆

It’s fascinating to notice that the “Final Destination” movies don’t really contain a bloodthirsty villain. They all start out with a teenager’s premonition of an ill-timed freak accident that’ll potentially kill dozens of innocent people. None of the soon-to-be victims probably deserve to die that way, but things like that happen in reality. The premonition offers a last-minute escape, and a small group of fortunate individuals make it to safety. They have cheated Death itself. That’s where Death steps in. He, or she, or it, reclaims what destiny owes him by setting up new, improvised accidents that should be enough to kill the survivors. Death is just catching up with his job.

It is an original and exciting premise that sparked attention when it was first introduced back in 2000. Eleven years and four sequels later, and we’ve just about lost its point. Maybe there isn’t a point to begin with. The “Final Destination” movies exist exclusively to perform fatal experiments on the human body. Within its head is a sadistically curious brain that asks questions like: “What would happen to a perfectly healthy male Caucasian if he gets in the way of barbed wire that’s flying towards him at 70 miles per hour?” “And what would an 18-year-old’s face look like after it is repeatedly shot by a nail gun at point black range?” Where do the film’s writers get their inspiration? The deleted scenes of “Jackass”? The diary of Chuck Norris? Where?

Final Destination 5- Death by Gymnastics“Final Destination 5” remains faithful to its tradition by formulating a new set of life-ending scenarios. Against their will and schedule, a fresh batch of hopeless teenagers is drafted into the recycled story. The novelty of the idea is long gone, but at this point in the franchise, it’s just a matter of how creative the deaths are, and how good they are paced and set up. Compared to the superior first two installments, Part 5 is too redundant and anticlimactic – you get the feeling that there’s something wrong with a movie that starts with a spectacular bridge collapse and climaxes with a brawl in a kitchen – yet it inevitably improves upon the two horrendous sequels that came before it. The movie has one clever and suspenseful death, and the Signature Disaster Sequence at the beginning is the most terrifying disaster yet, but that’s about it.

Our group of survivors shrinks in number as they are “coincidenced” to death. As these booby traps align themselves into position, I would imagine Death calculatingly loosening all the screws and spilling all the liquids and knocking down all the remotes he can find. Things must be pretty boring in Hell for him to go through all this unnecessary effort. No offense to him but, I believe he may be losing his touch. Except for the incredibly gripping gymnasium scene, the death scenes are mostly composed of the same kinds of slipping, puncturing, and crushing we’ve endlessly witnessed in the first four films.

Final Destination 5 (Bridge Collapse Sequence)The problem with horror franchises that overstay their welcome is that they eventually stop being shocking. It happened to Freddy, Jason, and Michael. And now it’s happening to Death, too. A possible remedy for this self-inflicted curse would be to add in a little irony and humor. The only positive thing about the dreadful “House of Wax” remake was the prolonged and savored murder of the Paris Hilton character. For the next “Final Destination”, instead of casting a group of unknown teenage actors, why not send an invitation to Sarah Palin, M. Night Shyamalan, and the main cast of “Twilight”?

No joke. Think of the publicity. The faces on the poster would be the entire advertising campaign… like The Expendables! Imagine how the cast would greatly encourage the writers to come up with more exciting and gruesome deaths. Some of you might accuse me of meanness. Not true. There’s been a shortage of fun horror movies recently, and I’m trying to help here. Look how much popularity C.S.I. received after it decided to unload a firing squad on Justin Bieber.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

The Human Centipede II PosterRating: Zero Stars

Tom Six must have had his head stuck up his ass when he came up with the idea for “The Human Centipede”.  Here is an individual who considers his films as, and I quote, “works of art”. If he is correct, and we have indeed reached the point where a movie called “The Human Centipede” can be classified as art, then we might as well bestow the next available Pulitzer Prize to Stephanie Meyer.

The first “Centipede” movie dropped an oversized dump on human civilization. To confess that I was bothered by it would be inaccurate. I was violated. Excluding people with facial tattoos, criminal records, and schizophrenia, I suspect that not many folks threw coins at a well in wish of a sequel. And yet here it is. “Full Sequence”, which is infinitely more vile and despicable than its predecessor, has only one purpose behind its miserable existence, and that is to update us that the head of Tom Six is still lodged up somewhere within his anal crevices. Home Sweet Home.

The Human Centipede 2

The 87 minutes I spent with “The Human Centipede II” marks the 87 most depressing minutes I have ever spent with any movie so far in my life. This is especially true for the movie’s final reel, where bags and bags of feces, solid and liquid, are ruthlessly unloaded at the screen. During this carnival of excrements, I felt that my eyes were being treated as toilet paper.

The notion of constructing a human centipede by surgically attaching three people via ass to mouth suggests moral depravity. It is a concept that cannot be redeemed by artistry, yet somehow the first movie, which received 2 Stars from me, was restrained and disciplined. The conjoining of the three victims was not depicted onscreen. Its deranged and delusional villain, Dr. Heiter, exhibited the proud stance of a skilled surgeon and the scathing speech of a Nazi officer. Dr. Heiter was, to say the least, interesting.

But alas, Dr. Heiter has been replaced by Martin, a mentally-handicapped security guard who repeatedly watches “The Human Centipede”; his dream of creating his own centipede grows with each view of the film. Fat, short, sweaty, and dumb, Martin never utters a single word throughout the movie. His vocabulary mainly consists of grunts, screeches, laughs, and fart noises. He abducts the actress Ashlynn Yennie, whose character can be found right at the middle of the centipede in the first movie. In this sequel, she has been promoted to the front of the line. Hooray. The body count has now been extended to twelve people. That is four times the length of the original centipede, and perhaps in Tom Six’s eyes, four times scarier. At least he knows basic Math.

Laurence R. Harvey as MartinThe victims, once collected, are assembled. But because Martin does not possess the surgical tools and expertise required to create a human centipede, he uses kitchen appliances instead, and undergoes a series of Trial and Error. Contrary to the first film, we see every step of the process. This is all extremely brutal, but it is neither the sadism nor the depravity that upsets me. Any uneducated asshole out there can produce a violent movie. But a violent movie with story, relevance, and creativity will always involve more guts and more intellect, which are two things that Tom Six does not seem to have. At least he knows basic Math.

Scarce are directors who make movies just to draw attention to themselves. Tom Six utilizes poop to attain publicity in Hollywood the same way a neglected gorilla at a zoo attracts an audience by throwing its poop at unprepared visitors. How incredibly pathetic. This guy seriously needs to grow up. He could start by taking his head out his anal crevices. There should be light at the end of the tunnel.

Note: “The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)” is entirely in Black &White, and it pains me to reveal that it is the first B&W film I have reviewed on this website. Not a film by Buster Keaton. Or by John Ford. Or by Akira Kurosawa. But by Tom Six. What have I done? Tom Six isn’t the only one who should be ashamed of himself.

Tom Six, Director of The Human Centipede

Tom Six

The Thing (1982)

The Thing PosterRating: ★★★★☆

The elusive, amorphous villain in “The Thing” boasts a potent quality long lost in the tradition of post-modern horror movies. Its creature operates in sadistic stealth. It invades the body of its living prey, sucking the life of its unfortunate host from the inside until there is nothing left of him except for his outside physical appearance. Each organism, whether man or animal, who has been victimized by The Thing all have one thing in common: They all ended up as a mere disguise to this intrusive, merciless freak.

The setting is in the barren, icy lands of Antarctica. An American research team is compelled to investigate a Norwegian facility after the remainder of its occupants die in a frantic attempt to assassinate… a dog. Inside the facility, our heroes find that the building has been through what your average C.S.I. would refer to as, “a struggle”. Outside, they discover a cadaver of abnormal shape and size. They notice that it was intentionally set on fire. And based on the empty containers of gasoline near it, whoever ignited the bastard wanted it to burn real good. Because our heroes are a group of curious researchers, they omit the instinctive response of leaving the body alone by bringing it back home with them.

The ThingSeemed like a bad move at the time, but their suspicions are ripped apart when they realize that the threat is lurking within the darn dog. The first of numerous moments of grotesque horror in “The Thing” occurs when their new pet is caged among other dogs. Heaps of flesh and blood starts bursting from the hound, transforming itself into a shapeless monster armed with teeth, tentacles, and an appetite. The helpless dogs trapped with this Thing are sprayed with a deadly acidic substance as they are dragged to The Thing’s gaping mouth, or mouths.

But enough about the dogs. The anxious excitement of “The Thing” begins when our heroes learn of the shape-shifting, body-invading nature of this sneaky alien. Since The Thing can infect any living individual upon the slightest contact, how many of the crew members have already been contaminated? Who can they trust? How can the healthy ones stay healthy? How can they find The Thing? And how do they kill it?

This is a creature concept of a very high order, one of great potential not only in terms of visual horror, but also of alarming suspense. A villain as complex as The Thing deserved the dedication of its disciplined director, John Carpenter, but the film is let down by a dull group of unintelligent, interchangeable characters. The researchers, who are thinly written, spend most of their time pointing their fingers and defending their innocence; it wouldn’t make any difference if This Character ended up as The Thing instead of That Character. Their field of work suggests discernment, but their actions sometimes reach a level of foolishness that they might as well be teenagers.

The Thing (Dog)These faults can easily be forgiven. The steady suspense is great fun, but at this point in history, I believe “The Thing” is most appreciated for its eruptions of gruesome and gooey monster madness. Because The Thing doesn’t have a permanent design, we are treated to a new, unsettling version of the same villain each time it reveals itself. By giving us different monsters to gawk at, the recurring attacks feel less repetitive. The prop, costume and make-up effects that form The Thing are so well-done that the movie proved to be a significant point in the advancement of special effects.

Movie monsters are often proud to set their ugly faces on display, but not The Thing. We suspect that it is a shy creature. But when its secret is thwarted, it seems to be more than happy to crawl/burst/ooze out of its disguise. The result is often a giant, living, breathing mishmash of your stomach contests. Whoever decides to dress as The Thing for Halloween and pulls it off deserves extra candy.

Paranormal Activity 3

Paranormal Activity 3 PosterRating: ★★★½☆

The demon in the “Paranormal Activity” movies doesn’t just go bump in the night. No. It also likes to yank your hair, possess your kids, move your furniture, drag you across the floor, and beat the hell outta you. What a douchebag.

Like its predecessor, “Paranormal Activity 3” winds back in time in an attempt to further trace the origin of its supernatural mysteries. The year is 1988. Sisters Katie and Kristi are young and naive. When their father, Dennis, begins to suspect that an entity might be roaming around their house, he sets up some cameras to catch the bastard on the act. Turns out, videotaping on an excessive scale runs in the family. If these folks went out more often, they’d probably end up with priced footage of Big Foot and the Easter Bunny.

The recordings eventually reveal that, something… is among their family. Because this is our third attendance on what is essentially the same movie, this discovery is only shocking for them. “Paranormal Activity 3” suffers from The Side Effects of Unplanned Franchising, where its makers force a complicated plot to adapt to a simple concept that’s best left untouched. This move is applied to successful movies so countless sequels can be produced in the expense of the original’s reputation. (The idea of [REC] probably wasn’t enough for three more sequels, so they added an out-of-place supernatural twist, which we saw in [REC] 2.)

Katie and Kristi

Katie and Kristi

The mythology in “Paranormal Activity 3” has wandered too far, wrongfully assuming that it’s scarier if we know more about its monster. It introduces elements that comes out of nowhere, asking questions that will be answered in, of course, “Paranormal Activity 4”. As for the demon, his presence here is much more welcomed than in the previous two films, thanks to the sisters. We know now that the demon’s nickname is Toby, and that he is a good sport when it comes to children’s tea parties. Toby’s motives are also revealed, but his actions don’t seem to enforce it.

Many say that people tend to “perform” when they know that a camera is watching. The same could also be said for Toby, who acts out his terror in perfect accordance with the position of the cameras. One of the movie’s few innovations is the placing of one camera on top of an oscillating fan; the camera pans back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. Toby’s choice of movement in this area of the house will not only scare the person in the room, but also the person who watches the recording later on. That’s twice the scare.



The humans, on the other hand, are not so sure what to do with themselves. They are aware of the evil, choreographed demonic presence, but their snooping around just seems to taunt the beast, which is actually a benefit for a horror-hungry audience. Excluding the cheap scares in the earlier scenes, “Paranormal Activity 3” produces massive tension and dread that’s unfortunately toned down by the fact that we’ve all seen it before. This could have been the scariest movie in years if it wasn’t two movies too late.

The subtle flaws are beginning to surface, the repetition is beginning to wear out, and the forced franchising is something I disapprove of, but I can’t give “Paranormal Activity 3” a negative rating. Those who buy a ticket for this will get what they paid for. This installment is louder and faster, with a camera that’s more mobile, thanks to the father with a relentless passion to videotape everything, as if he has no family to worry about. What a douchebag.

[REC] 2

[REC] 2 PosterRating: ★★★☆☆

The foremost flaw of “[REC] 2” is its futile attempt to include a baffling, supernatural plot within its generic, but nonetheless scary, concept. To begin with, the first “[REC]” wasn’t even the kind of film that opens itself to the possibility of a sensible sequel, but here it is anyway, along with the promise of a third and fourth installment.

“[REC] 2” is an immediate continuation of the original’s conclusion. The fast-acting, death-inducing virus is still contained inside the quarantined apartment, surrounded by snipers and covered with some sort of special, government plastic. If there are any human survivors trapped inside, the authorities are determined to keep them in that state. We revisit the apartment when we follow a group of SWAT officers, who are commanded by a Health Official.

[REC] 2They charge into the zombie-infested building with thick armor and heavy weaponry, but their reasons for entering it in the first place are rather unclear. Surely, this isn’t a rescue mission, for in the first film, anyone who tried to leave the building was rewarded with a bullet to the face. Once inside, we are informed that their objective is to come up with an antidote against a disease no one outside the apartment has contracted. Yes, a more reasonable option would be to burn down the building until it resembles dust, but no, because that idea wouldn’t be enough for three more “[REC]” movies.

Besides the practical questions it raises, “[REC] 2” degrades itself by becoming more complicated than it needs to be. It tries, and fails, to combine the straightforward idea of zombies with the paranormal principles of demonic possession. It fails as a strategy for horror, and it fails when placed within the context of the original film. If a demon is responsible for the infections, doesn’t that make the quarantine useless? Can the special, government plastic contain the devil? By squeezing ideas where they don’t fit, this sequel damages the reputation of the original by contradicting its own purposes.

“[REC] 2” still manages to earn a positive score when seen in terms of the filmmakers’ Intention in relation to the audiences’ Expectation. You don’t go looking for a film like this and expect to be enlightened by logic. There are well-made moments of fright and gore. Except for the unnecessary, awkward demonic traits, the zombies are standard in their behavior, as usual. They are here to chase the living and scream at them, while the people are treated as nothing more than running meat, doomed with the impending scene where they won’t be able to run fast enough.

Scream 4

Scream 4 PosterRating: ★★½☆☆

“Scream 4”, also known as “Scre4m”, knows its genre well enough to prove its superiority over the dumb horror films it proudly mocks, but it doesn’t come close to matching the quality of some of the great horror films it celebrates. Considering the franchise’s satirical nature, the past decade has provided director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson with much material to work with. The movie succeeds when it sticks to the self-aware antics that it’s known for. Too bad this sequel often abandons this clever concept for ideas we’ve all grown familiar with.

Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), one of the survivors of the first three “Scream” films, has returned to Woodsboro to promote her new book. She unwisely decides to visit her hometown near the anniversary of the first Ghostface massacre. Since it was death anniversaries and her surprise visits that triggered the massacres, you would think Sidney would keep a safe distance from Woodsboro, but no worries. Upon news that a new Ghostface has started a killing spree, Sidney re-unites with fellow survivors, Dewey and Gale, who are now married. The mature age of the three has granted them a major advantage over the new generation of students. We all know that, in horror movies, adults have a lower mortality rate than teenagers.

Neve Campbell and Emma Roberts

Neve Campbell and Emma Roberts

The best thing about this franchise is that it occupies a world that acknowledges the existence of horror movies and the people who are obsessed with them. Almost every horror flick made in the past 30-40 years takes place in a different time and universe where there are no horror movies that could serve as a lifeline to its young characters. As a result, teenagers would always commit the same mistakes that would get them killed, or raped, or eaten. For example, when a victim is chased in her house, she would immediately run up the stairs instead of going out the back door, trapping herself and assuring her own death. The characters in the original “Scream” were fun because it was populated by smart, informed teenagers who ended up dead because of a smarter, better-informed villain.

The new characters in “Scre4m” have devolved in the sense that even though they have memorized the formulas of the genre, they can no longer apply it to earn a more worthy death, if you get what I’m saying. As the movie drew longer, we begin to ask ourselves on when these horror geeks lost their clutch of the situation by wandering off alone too many times and running up on too many stairs. Despite losing some of its strengths, “Scre4m” is still a good movie by standards of recent slasher films, but it fails when criticized by the standard set by the original “Scream”. And since this is the fourth installment, we might find the irony in how some parts of movie have become guilty of what its predecessors were trying to scold. Has the sequels created its own tiresome formula?

Ghostface (Left) and Gale Riley (Right)

Ghostface (Left) and Gale Riley (Right)

Most of the movie’s faults and missteps occur in the middle and concluding stages. The opening sequence is a masterful stroke of bloody brilliance, both reliving the frightening method of Ghostface while, at the same time, engaging in humorous discussions regarding the dishonorable horror trends of the past decade. It reminds us of the recent birth of Torture Porn and its immediate overuse. It bluntly shows its disapproval of remakes, and it rebukes “new clichés” that has been made possible by the advance in technology. When was the last time a teenager tried to get a signal on his/her cell phone and lived long enough to see the next sunrise?

“Scre4m” could have kept going on this path. It could have been consistently smart, and entertaining, and insightful, but no. It decided to save some of the good stuff for more sequels. What was initially a clever satire that once revived the genre it loved has betrayed itself by agreeing to participate in dishonorable mass production for the purpose of a few extra paychecks. Disappointing. How long can they keep this up? “Scr5am”, “S6ream”, “Sc7eam”, etc.


Insidious PosterRating: ★★½☆☆

“Insidious” is a horror movie about an average family haunted with supernatural forces that possess a natural tendency to open lots of doors and make funny noises. Most fans of this subgenre will praise it not because it is an excellent film, but because the ones that came before it are infinitely much worse. Have you seen “The Haunting in Connecticut”?

The unlucky family in this horror film is the five members of the Lambert family. Each of them is terrorized by a mysterious creature, but most unlucky is young Dalton, who is in a deep sleep and would not wake up. A doctor says that he isn’t in a coma. A psychic claims that his spiritual body is trapped in another dimension she likes to call, The Further. Dalton’s parents, Josh and Renai, are, to say the least, confused. Whether any of these explanations makes sense or not is not a major concern, because the story mainly serves as an opening to provide scares.

“Insidious” is conscious of the genre’s obvious clichés, but it avoids some of them by conforming to an unhelpful, alternative idea that is soon to be a cliché itself. Characters living in haunted houses are often so traumatized by the ghouls that they forget about the possible action of, you know, leaving the house. The Lambert family makes the practical decision of abandoning their home early on in the film, only to have their efforts thwarted when they are told that it’s not the house that’s haunted, but their son. “Oooooooo”. So, instead of one haunted house, we get two haunted houses.

In essence, the movie suffers from faulty horror both because of an inadequate style and a habit of repetition. It accentuates its scares by accompanying them with a sudden boom of sound. This adds shock, but it lessens the horror. These moments are repeatedly distributed in slices of split-second frames until we reach the film’s climax, which suddenly becomes over-the-top and, how should I say this, funny.


The final act involves a supernatural rescue mission where Josh enters The Further and looks for Dalton’s spiritual body. This dimension, where naughty spirits roam all over, is a place much like our own, only this realm has too much fog and without electricity. I mention the existence of The Further because, within it, is the most interesting aspect in the very little of what’s in “Insidious”. It is there where we finally meet the demon responsible for Dalton’s absence. His face causes us to suspect that this child-napping bastard is none other than Darth Maul… from Star Wars! Our suspicion, as fun as it was, is later proven wrong when the credits appear. The demon’s name is, in fact, Lipstick-Face.

So Lipstick-Face has Dalton’s spirit in chains. Josh has got to hurry. The psychic informs everyone that Lipstick-Face wants Dalton’s body empty, so he could possess it. And then? What’s Lipstick-Face gonna do once he has a physical body? Doesn’t he know that, in this world, there are taxes?


Priest PosterRating: ½☆☆☆☆

Bear with me. This shouldn’t take long.

A long, long time ago, there was a war between the humans and vampires. Those fanged bloodsuckers happen to be very strong, and mankind was forced to retreat within the protected city of the Church. In come the Priests, a group of specialized warriors who can slay the vampires so fast and easily, they could have arrived before mankind was threatened to extinction.

Before I continue, I feel that I must inform the younger generation that these vampires neither sparkle nor lust after a woman who can be described by rearranging the word “lust.”

Anyway, the Priests don’t kill all the vampires. For some reason, they think it would be wise to keep them inside prisons they call “reservations.” Reserved for what? These security centers are complete with underground cells so the vampires could plot their comeback without having to worry about the scorching and fatal sunlight. The engineer who designed the reservations may have a hard time getting hired for future projects.


Flash forward. We continue the story in a futuristic time where motorcycles are now fast enough to outrun speeding trains. (Either that or trains must be really slow this time of year.) So our hero is one of the Priests. His name is, uhm, Priest. Later, we meet a female Priest named, uhm, Priestess. Curious about the names of the other Priests, I checked out IMDb. There’s Brave Priest, Strong Priest, Bold Priest, and my favorite, Flashback Priest. Hey, either that or IMDb is lying to me.

Priest, who is portrayed by Paul Bettany, is a hero so typical these days I’m surprised Jason Statham didn’t play him. And oh, the villain is Black Hat. We call him that because he wears a.

And oh, there’s this one scene where Priest and another character too boring to mention passes through a few deserted buildings in the middle of nowhere. Not the best choice for business, I know. Must be the work of the same engineer responsible for the reservations.

The Ward (Quick Review)

The Ward PosterRating: ★☆☆☆☆

Kristen is an attractive young woman, and if this damn ghost would stop bothering her, she could pretty much land a career in modeling. But no, she also has to be confined in a ward for the mentally unstable. This is very unfortunate. Things are already going bad for poor Kirsten, but the worst part is that she has to share the movie with supporting characters suffering from “No Personality Disorder”.

Poor Kristen meets some of the other patients. Employees in the ward disappear for no reason so the group could run around and investigate. The ghost makes an appearance every now and then. Sometimes, it kidnaps one of the patients and murders them. Other times, it literally does nothing except to show us its ugly face. Do you really want to know what happens next?

“The Ward” is the first film for John Carpenter in ten years. His choice to direct this bad film may be an indication that his standards have lowered. How disappointing. His lead actress isn’t helping his reputation either. The 25-year-old Amber Heard has a filmography that has established herself as an actress who looks pretty in a bikini. Did she agree to star in this film to broaden her scope? If yes, then she has succeeded. Now we know that she also looks pretty in a straight jacket.

The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)

The Hills Have Eyes 2 Poster Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

In the opening subtitles, the audience is reminded of the bloody carnage that concluded the remake of the first “The Hills Have Eyes”. It is safe to assume that any evidence regarding the mutant slaughtering that was bestowed upon that poor family was dissolved by the heat of the sun. This is so because, in this sequel, a military group has decided to base somewhere near the same place without much precaution. The subtitles claim that they are “monitoring for undisclosed reasons.”

I wander as to what the hell they were monitoring in an abandoned desert; the words “undisclosed reasons” are not reassuring enough, especially in a horror movie, but let’s move on. To no surprise, these people end up disfigured and discombobulated, while one ends up deep in the toilet with a few cuts so he can die of mass infection. Oh no, these mutants, they have developed their own sense of humor.

Because the movie is just ten minutes in, we have a group of trainees and their sergeant to save the day. These trainees, they are very idiotic; so idiotic that one would wonder how they made it that far into the program. And so they march on, with loaded rifles that run empty when they need them the most, they march. One by one, they die in brutality, but none of them inspires an ounce of sympathy.

The characters talk and act like they’re in a video game. The setting and the villains function like one, too. The trainees encounter road blocks wherein they are forced to enter the cave in which the mutants dwell in. And in every other room, there is a mutant that they must kill in order to enter the next area that will bring them closer to salvation. At the end, when the sunlight is visible again, there is even a, uhm, Boss Mutant, that is stronger and tougher than the rest, and they must all work together to kill him.

Boss Mutant

In complete boredom, I decided to observe the cave of the mutants, and was pretty astonished as to what I have found. It is my pleasure to announce that the hills doesn’t just have eyes; they also have a refrigerator and a small kitchen. If the characters explored the cave even more, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were able to bump into one of those 3-D TV sets.