The Fog (2005)

Rating: ½☆☆☆☆

The movie industry has come up with some truly brilliant villains that shook our emotions and took over our nightmares. And then there’s the rest of the pack, which are so laughable you’d wonder how they escaped from the circus and found their way in a horror movie.

We all unfortunately remember the maniacal hotel room in “1408.” Leave that room, and you still won’t be safe, for the evil elevator in “The Shaft” will consume your soul. Leaping off a window won’t help, ‘cause M. Night Shyamalan’s villainous air will catch up to you, and eventually, your unguarded lungs. Flee to Antonio Island, and there you will come face-to-fog with the fog in… “The Fog.”

This is an awful movie. By now, I would normally mention enough plot holes, technical errors, and logical fallacies to prove my point, but do I really need to? Trying to prove that “The Fog” is a terrible movie is like trying to prove that the sky is blue, that the grass is green, that global warming is… Anyway, it is a waste of time, and in this case, a waste of words in a review. But I’ve already started, so I’ll give it a shot.

“There is something in the fog” says one resident of Antonio Island. That person may be correct, for people are starting to be murdered near the fog. The terror doesn’t stop there; this mysterious fog can break windows, blow up radars, and bang on doors. Pretty impressive for a fog. (Tame it, and I’m sure it can also wash your car.) Things are not shaping up to be good for our heroes, who are of course a couple of ill-witted teenagers. A growing body count might inspire a great idea to leave the island, but they stay anyways, and the movie continues.

I hope you don’t mind if I spoil the fact that there are ghosts in the fog, and in most ghost stories, them ghosts are not really there for the reason the heroes are suspecting them of. Here, the ghosts are after revenge, aiming to kill the descendants of the people that murdered them. All these stupid supernatural shenanigans eventually lead to one of the most random and useless and illogical endings I have ever seen. It’s solid proof that “The Fog sucks.” I would love to point it out, but I’ve already wasted enough words.

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The Fog (2005)