You Again

Rating: ★½☆☆☆

Thirty minutes into “You Again”, and a soft, lonely voice within me whispered, “You again.” This is a movie we see every year, a clichéd comedy composed of stupid people who are concocted by the idiotic nature of its screenwriters too lazy to think of better characters. The only advantage of this film from its equally unfunny counterparts is that this is actually occupied by capable actors, who unfortunately fail in the end. How they convinced Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Betty White to join the cast, I will never know.

Even the gorgeous Kirsten Bell is too good for this. She is a charming young lady who can also act (which can’t be said for all the charming young ladies in Hollywood), but all she is required to do is here is trip off ropes, fall of hills, and break plates. I’m pretty sure all household pets could do that, and I’d bet any self-respecting Labrador would turn this role down, but she’s agreed to be here anyway. May she find better use of her charm in future roles.

In this role, however, she starts out as a loser, named Marni (Bell). And because she is in high school, she will have to have braces, dorky eyeglasses, and a face full of pimples, because this is what makes a loser if you’re in high school. Marni is literally carried away from the school doors by a group of pimple-free teens, led by her arch nemesis, Joanna. The scene plays out with Queen’s “We are the Champions” playing in the background, because champions like Joanna have no time for losers like Marni. This is immature, but then again high school is a place where immaturity thrives along with the hormones, and you can pardon that.

We fast-forward a few years later, and we see Marni with straight teeth, clear skin, and eyes free of dorky glasses. She has changed so much that she is almost as pretty as the actress Kirsten Bell. Marni is also successful and is just enjoying a big promotion. You’d think she’d be happy about her bright status, and forget about her dark past, but no. When she learns that Joanna is marrying her brother, and when we learn that Joanna’s Aunt (Weaver) has also has some unfinished business with Marni’s Mom (Curtis), well, let’s just say that this is the part I heard that soft, lonely voice.

Between these women will be acts of immaturity that could even surprise Jerry Springer. We can’t really figure out a legitimate reason for their actions other than they are only there to stall the inevitable, and that is the moment where everyone learns to love her enemy. At one point, the four girls dance with a male to a Britney Spears song. Mother and daughter try to out dance Aunt and niece, which leads to bodies bumping into one another. Right.

Once the stalling is complete, and the inevitable next, we are then taken to monologues where our ladies have realized their faults, and are, in an instant, mature human beings. Thanks to “You Again”, one thing I now know, and that is you should never try to insert drama after failed comedy. That’s like trying to include the music of Queen and Britney Spears in the same movie.

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